We know as mothers we have a major impact on our children; how they respect their fathers, and anyone in authority over them. We are to respect our husbands; we are created to be their helpers, to help them fulfill whatever vision God has given them. Even when we think they have no vision, we are to be there for them, as God is the head of Christ, Christ is the head of every man, and man is the head of a woman (his wife). We know God's plan, and the order of His design is always best; that is His will.
Let us look at responsibility. Being responsible for those God has put under our provision, protection, guidance, and discipleship is a great honor and privilege. Until we as parents, and mothers in particular, step into our role God has given us, our future generations will continue in the same rebellious, disrespectful attitudes we see in our society as a whole. Our children are gifts from God, our Father. Psalm 127:3 says, "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward." Let us step up, take responsibility, teach and train them to lead future generations for His glory.
There are many books on parenting, some good, some not, but what I am going to discuss will be practical ideas, hands-on tips, we can actually put into practice. We all know the many different development stages of children, and there are times in a child's life to deal with different issues, but I will say most things a child needs to learn, starts at the beginning, when we bring them home. This can be something as simple as reading to them as an infant.
I have learned over the past 20 years, from our own parenting strategies, God given discernment, and observations of many, many different families, that the earlier you begin to train your child in every area, the easier it will be. Don't wait til a certain age to teach them to be nice, to respect others, to obey, to keep their cup upright, respect others' property, or not tear up books and toys. Waiting til they are 2, 3, or 4, or even later, you have already taught them it is OK for that behavior and you confuse them when all of a sudden you tell them they cannot do that anymore. When you let bad behavior go for any length of time it makes it much more difficult to discipline and re-train them to the right behavior. By "right" behavior, I mean the Godly behavior God expects from them, to obey their parents, and treat others better than themselves.
Ephesians 6:1-3 says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth." When we as parents do not teach our children to obey us, we could be shortening their life.
I want you to do a little math with me now. Moms, I want you to figure up the many different people who "help" take care of your children. Be sure and count daycare workers, whether they are family, grandparents, or not, SS teachers, Children's Church workers or nursery workers, Sunday night study or small groups, Wednesday night workers, or any extra curricular activities they may be a part of. I now want you to figure up the hours you are actually with your children. Do not count the hours they are asleep or with any of the aforementioned people. Add up the hours your children are with all the other people, and compare the numbers. Whichever number is the highest, that is who is raising your children. We must take the responsibility in raising our own children for His glory, not pass it off for others to do. Pick and choose carefully, those activities that are beneficial to them and to your family as a whole. Do more with other families, not splitting the family at every turn. God will bless your efforts!
Ask yourself if your children are obedient and respectful, if not, this is the biggest part of your problem. Even if your child is only with a couple of these other people, no one can have exactly the same disciplinarian ways as you. This causes confusion in your child. Children are not capable of comprehending why one will let them do one thing and another will not. Their "bad" behavior is the result. They simply do not understand, are confused, and will act out. I have seen some of the sweetest and happiest children do a 180 when their mothers decided to go to work, for whatever reason. Again, step up to the plate of responsibility.
Mothers, I beg and plead with you to take this responsibility God has gifted you with, love and train your children as God had planned; the end results on how they relate to you and to their future spouses will be greatly affected. If you "must" work, find a job you can work from home with a few hours, there are many opportunities now, have a yard sale and get rid of "stuff," do without eating out, or even cell phones. Who knew we once survived without them. Do what it takes to be there for your children, believe me there are only a few short years you are blessed with this responsibility. There are many seasons in our lives and this is only one, accept this season and really enjoy it. When they are grown, then you can go and live your "dreams" if you so desire, but the question should be, if God so desires.
Yes, I realize there are many single moms who must raise their children and provide for them. We live in a fallen world, and there are consequences as a result of our actions or the actions of others; some have no control over what has happened, a spouse has died or may have left. You must know yourself what God's plan is for you in those situations and I pray for those who have this added burden, but remember, God works all things for good, to those that love Him. (Rom. 8:28)
My desire and what God has continuously placed on my heart is to help you see the importance of this God ordained job in His Almighty plan.
If you missed the first couple posts, go here:
Motherhood and Respect
I will be hosting a giveaway of an "old" new book I just read.
John MacArthur's Found: God's Will has been an eye opening read, and I wanted to share it with others.
Check back tomorrow, March 6th for how to enter.
Always Experiencing Him,
Jody
