Motherhood and Respect

Respect
1. To feel or show honor or esteem for. 
2. To show consideration for..
"...the wife must see to it that she respects her husband."
Ephesians 5:33b

Moms, wives, do you respect your husbands?  Do your children see you respecting or disrespecting their dad?  Whether or not your children respect their father and others around them will hinge on how you treat the man you chose to marry, the man God has given you as a husband, the man you are called to respect, no matter what.
Ladies, there are no ifs, ands, or buts, there are no conditions, God's glorious Word simply says for wives to respect their husbands.  Many good things come from respecting your husband.  One, it makes him feel like a man, a real man, when his wife respects him.  Really treat him well and see if he doesn't stand just a bit taller.  Don't talk about him in front of him, or when you are with other ladies.  When with others, allow him to hear you say positive things.


One thing women do when they get together is bash their husbands, and not necessarily knowingly.  If bash is too strong, maybe you just "talk about," or have a "prayer request" for him.  It is still hurtful.  This is one reason I stopped attending many women's meetings, or get-togethers.    It only takes one woman making a negative remark towards her husband and then, we chime in with the rest saying, how he doesn't do this, or I wish mine would do this, or say this; it is very damaging to our husbands, as well as ourselves.  What many women do not realize is they may not mean for it to sound bad; it could only be teasing or jesting somehow, but it is the same; it hurts them and us.  It is extremely demeaning and humiliating to that man, and though he may not be there, somehow he will know how you have talked about him.


But, if you will always build him up, find something, anything, good to say, it may not change everything you wish was different about him, but it will change your heart toward your husband.  Remember, although God isn't always going to change what we want Him to, He always gives us what we need, and when we are obedient to Him, He will change our hearts in the process, and that is what He is most concerned with.  Our hearts are in His hands to mold and make us after His will.


Ok, so we know to show him honor and esteem him, and we do this through our conversation and our actions, and you may say, what does this have to do with parenting?  Well, it has everything to do with parenting.  Showing consideration to him in all we do, especially in front of the children is of utmost importance.  If you are not obedient to the One who gave us the command to respect our husband, then all else will be in vain.  You will become the person in charge, the leader, the one in control, and God's Word clearly tells us in 1 Corinthians 11:3, "But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ."  To get any of these out of order is to go against God's design and would be equally rebellious. 
If you are leading, then you are not respecting, and your children will not either.  Now, does this mean you are not to do ANYTHING without your husband standing over you?  No.  You are his help meet, you are his helper, you do everything that will help him be the man God created him to be.  This will be different for each family.  Just be sure your ways always line up with God's Word because blessings always flow from our obedience to Him.


Another good thing which comes from respecting your husband is, you are teaching your children how to respect others.  Your husband, as head of the household, can command his children to respect him, but I will tell you, it is your job to see that they do.  They will watch you, their mother, to see how you listen to him, how you speak to him, how you love him, how you treat him, to know how to truly respect him.


There are men, from our earthly, worldly perspective, who simply do not deserve to be respected, but that cannot hinder us from obeying God's Word.  If you married one of these men, in obedience, you must give him respect, and be there for him.  Go where he goes, do what he asks, be there for him.  The only reason you should not be with him is if something he does is illegal and goes against God's Word.  Otherwise, treat him as "the man."  When your children are grown they will know the "real" person their father was and is, but they will have much more respect for you as their mother, and others, by seeing how you respected him in those most difficult times.


If you teach them to respect their father, they will respect others with whom they come in contact with.  If they are not respectful to others, your disrespectfulness will shine through.  I have seen this too many times, respectfulness of children will depend on their mother.  If you are not helping to fulfill this quality of respect, their respect for you will not be near what it should be.  They may respect their father, but only because they have to.  You have the power to instill respect as a good quality, not one out of duty.


Do you have a "gentle and quiet spirit?"  Not all do.  Naturally, I do NOT.  Supernaturally, with God's help, I am continually, daily, working on this.  
"But let it be the hidden person of the heart, 
with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, 
which is precious in the sight of God."  1 Peter 3:4
Did you see?  A gentle and quiet spirit is precious in the sight of God!  Precious.  Wow!  I believe that should be something we truly strive for as women of God.  Go here, to my daughters' blog to read more on this precious quality.
Everyone's personality is different and that is what makes us unique, but we cannot think for one moment that, "this is how God made me, so deal with it."  We were born with a sin nature, and if we have been made new, alive in Christ, then we are to "die to self" every day.  We are new creatures.
"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature;
the old things passed away;
behold, new things have come."
2 Cor. 5:17
A difference should be seen and heard.  Striving to be Christlike, to have more of Him, than more of us, should be a daily prayer.  Oh, to be like Christ, to have more of Christ in me.  That should be our desire.


Respect is one of the greatest foundational blocks for parenting, and much more could be said, but for now, think about how you treat others and particularly your husband.  If you treat others better than your husband, you need to ask yourself "why?"  Respecting your husband will set the tone in having respectful children.

"Grace be with all those who love our Lord Jesus Christ 
with incorruptible love.
Eph. 6:24

Always Experiencing Him, 
Jody

2 comments:

Three Maidens said...

Very good, Ma. Keep it up!
Love,
Elisera

Faith Family said...

Thank you. You are treasured. Love you!
Mom